Buggy's Last Days

We're gonna take Buggy for what very well may be his last veterinary appointment tomorrow. Just in case it is I made kabob tonight for all of us, which happens to also be the first thing both he and Tori ate in our house. I don't think they would have appreciated the awesome broccoli rabe I made tho so I didn't give them any of that.

Boy is it ever a weird pickle to deal with death.

I cannot express the degree of resentment and dislike that Tori has for Buggy right now. After being bullied around by buggy his whole life, he's now burdened by him. Buggy's near incontinence has meant sequestering for the dogs, which means Tori get's locked up too when no one's home. The general isolationism which has befallen the dogs since Buggy has gotten so sick has resulted in a lonelier world for Tori and he doesn't really understand why. But what is clear to see from their interactions is that Tori wants nothing to do with Buggy. If Buggy stomps over to the cushion or blanket Tori is sleeping on (as gracefully as a blind 18yr old dog with serious mobility issues can) he will more often than not be kept a few feet back with snarls and barking from Tori. The two of them have not shared a moment of joy or playing or anything other than quarrels in over a year since Buggy's mobility issues first arose.
And while it's clear that Tori is gonna have a more comfortable and relaxed life once Buggy is gone, and it's clear that Tori appears to feel nothing but anger and resentment towards Buggy, he's gonna miss him when he's gone.

Tori, you're gonna miss Buggy when he's gone.

Tilla Milatae Machiee

In honor of Rusted Root finally bringing some good music to Stamford's Alive @ 5, Here's Omar Ipodriguez, Vermoutha Salt and Bob E Kielbasa presenting their tribute.


*****
And Here's pretty much the greatest video ever to grace internet:

Devious Stares at my Erection

Omar Ipodriguez's tribute to Marcy Playground and their hit "Sex and Candy" (15 weeks at #1 on the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks!) soon to be played to an otherwise disaffected crowd at Stamford's Alive@5 concert.

SHPUNKEN

Upon viewing the plants episode of the fantastic nature documentary series Life by the BBC

I've come to realize not only the amazing beauty and scope of the faunal reproductive process,
But also the simple fact that the vast majority of faunal reproduction is in fact a process of:
Party A publicly displays it's pollen, or SHPUNKEN
Party C saunters over to Party A, rubs all on it's biznass, and acquires said pollen(SHPUNKEN) as detritus on it's person, or on it's party, or whathavenots
Then Party C continues in it's pollen induced haze towards Party B, whom it rubs against furiously yet with apathetic nonchalance.
As a completely unintended side effect, the SHPUNKEN originating from Party A, which Party C has rubbed on Party B, has now pollinated Party B's bidnass and has produced a sexifyed vegan, locally grown, pesticide and hormone free offspring, namely Party D!
What I'm essentially trying to express is; run this sort of natural reproductive nonsense through your mind a few times and then try and tell me that the sweet glory of reproduction is still a sensible reason to vilify gay people

Stamford, CT or NOW That's What I Call the 90's!

In honor of the Gin Blossoms and Soul Asylum playing at Stamford's Alive@5 concert series last week (which I wouldn't have been caught fatally wounded at).
My friend Omar Ipodriguez decided to record a cover of the Gin Blossoms' 1993 hit Until I fall Away (#13 on Billboard's Modern Rock chart!)


and also Soul Asylum's 1994 hit Runaway Train (Winner of the 1994 Grammy for Best Rock Song!)


I don't know why Stamford is so fond of inviting bands to come play in their summer concert series whose careers peaked in the mid-90's. This year is a little better, while Seven Mary Three and Marcy Playground will be Stamford's guests on July 1st, later weeks bring us Rusted Root, George Clinton and P-Funk, and the Beach Boys. Much better than last year's early 90's lineup of Sugar Ray, Smash Mouth, Fastball, etc.

Oh yeah, I live in Stamford now
(SHOTGUN!)

In The Kitchen - Part 1

Wasteland

An ode to giant metropolises by Dan Bern

The Credits Roll

A film by my friend Henry.

If one stops looking, one finally sees...

Put Yer Money Where Yer Moral$ Are

I finally moved my money today.

I have long wanted to ensure that my money wouldn't be used to buy the credit default swaps and dangerous derivatives that tanked the world economy, its just that what little money I had in my Bank of America account was just kind of sitting there for the last few months. Well not so much sitting there, since they just can't help but to take it as often as possible. After closing my checking account a while back so it wouldn't be bled dry by their monthly fees, I got a notice saying that my savings account was roughly $60 over drawn. Mind you I hadn't taken any money out nor put any in for months. It turns out that, while the savings account has "no fees", if you only have a savings account then you have to have at least $200 in it or suffer a monthly fee. Of course I was not told of this eventuality when I closed my checking account. So my account was sucked empty until there was nothing left, and then the fees continued until my account was overdrawn (a weird term to use since I did no "withdrawing" since late last year). Once my account was "overdrawn" they then charged me an overdraft fee and then sent me the notice I mentioned earlier. I promptly called to find out what the F was happening and since they hadn't told me about the fees I got them to close my account and send me a check for the last positive sum before it was overdrawn, $2.34. Now that I have a new job starting on monday working for The Feds I figured I'd open a new account with the Fairfield Country Federal Credit Union. And boy am I glad to do it and not be aiding and abetting the inside job that screwed over so many in the last couple years and caused such hardship the world over.
On Earth Day 2010, just a few weeks after opening up our coastlines to further drilling for oil, Obama spoke in New York City on the need for basic banking regulations.
If Obama is unable to get regulatory reform of the banking industry passed, then this is the least I can do to distance myself from these greedy bastards.

America is an angry country. We are so quick to lash out at most any "enemy" that is pointed at by our leaders or the media. If you don't believe me just check out the Tea Party.

The Teabaggers have boundless anger at being taxed by our nigger president Obama despite the fact that he has cut taxes for 95% of Americans.
Ask the families of hundreds of thousands of dead innocent Iraqi civilians if Americans are willing to lash out at a perceived threat and see what they tell you. And yet, in the face of a crisis that has wrought havoc on the world economy and the lives of most people in America everyday, most people in America are remiss to show anger towards the people responsible. As for doing some part to ruin the ordinary lives of Americans, nothing in the last 50 years has come close to doing the damage of our current economic crisis. And this is a crisis with clear villains. Very straightforward fingers to be pointed along a clearly left behind paper trail (For a not so clearly paper-trailed, yet jarring and scary example, click on the words "inside job" above). But there is little demand for these peoples' heads, little demand for accountability. Where are the people with "Don't Tread On Me" flags marching on Wall St.? Much of that is likely owed to a few key factors. Primarily, the groups we are dealing with have an incredible capacity to lobby our lawmakers and of course they have long had a foothold in our media. Take one of the biggest players in this crisis, Goldman Sachs. They are the largest campaign contributor (to BOTH parties), and you don't even want to know how many key figures in government worked for them (not least vital of which being both Obama's and Bush's treasury secretaries). But of course the most frightening fact of all is that it appears that almost all of the insane gambling that caused this crisis (click on "credit default swaps and dangerous derivatives that tanked the world economy" above) was legal!
Immoral of course, but legal.
So if Obama can't pass regulatory reform, which will surely be met by our Teabagging brethren letting out a sigh of relief in the realization of their nostalgia for a time when white presidents didn't legislate morality upon the dangerously immoral, MOVE YOUR GODDAMNED MONEY!

Jack White

A sight not seen for a decade...MY CHIN!

Also the mustache is a sight only seen for a few months of 2004, certainly never seen without the beard. I apologize for the look on my face, I was doing an impersonation of a friend of mine who I reminded myself of once I had shaved. I am truly sorry for my look of joyful astonishment.

Sometimes you eat the kid, and sometimes the kid eats you

Walruphuckenakecargotbleick

Sky Rock

I'm so blessed to have spent good time with my family and the friends I love in my short life I have met so many people I deeply care for.

Do What You Can

Last night I saw Sarah Palin on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Later that night I dreamt that I was the other guest on the show and kept replaying in my mind the meeting between us in the green room. I don't remember too much more from the dream other than at one point I smothered her to death with a pillow. Her folksy conservatism is so frightening. I picture all the fools watching her while cleaning their assault rifles with their shroud of turin replica shammies and saying how much she speaks to their values so plain spokenly. Just terrifying.
I need an amazing video of doggies to get my mind off of this.

Whew!
Now to further distance my mind, lets talk about that non-local sports team...
I hate the San Antonio Spurs.
I hate them for many reasons, not least of which is the boring dominance of Tim "The Big Fundamental" Duncan.
But I think the player who solidified my hatred of them was Bruce Bowen. Bowen will always be remembered for his "defense". And while he was tenacious in covering whatever high scoring star they put him on, I think that he crossed many a line in his time in the NBA. Bowen not only tried to stop these stars from scoring, but also seemed intent on taking them out of the game, possibly permanently. As the video below shows, Bowen was always willing to stick his foot under a player as they were coming down in the hopes of rolling the players' ankle, or kneeing someone in the balls, or what the hey, doing a leaping jump kick into a players face. And not only was he payed millions to do it, but the Spurs won 4 championships in the last decade and no one thought to maybe press assault charges against this lunatic.

And now for a third topic, I'd like to talk about Soul Plane...

Less Than Perfect Storm

In case you don't follow the news, it's snowing in the northeast US. Yes thats not only the top story, but its also pretty much taking up the ENTIRETY of all the newscasts today. As absurd as the local media can be, its really amazing that they can spend so much time covering something that they could have basically summed up with "look outside, see that foot of white stuff, well it's gonna keep coming for the rest of the day, be ready: moving on to the decade long war in the Congo that has taken over 4 million lives..."
I only watched the news because NY Governor David Patterson had just succumbed to over a year of pressure and mudslinging from his own Democratic party and announced that he would be dropping his re-election bid. After 24 minutes of snow "coverage", they spent about 33 seconds on the Patterson story before closing the show with a few minutes of recapping the previous night's Olympic results. They literally spent about 3 times as much time talking about the previous night's women's figure skating bronze medalist than they did talking about the capitulation of the Governor of New York, which had JUST HAPPENED. You know what they used to call important things that had just happened back in the good ol' days? NEWS!

Needless to say, waking up this morning the driveway had to be shoveled. My mom had to leave for work and my octogenarian strongman uncle had been out in the driveway already attempting to clean the area around my mom's car. I went out and realized that while the snow was very powdery and likely easy to scoop away, stepping on it compacted it quite effectively and made it exceedingly more difficult to shovel. My uncle had walked several times back and forth from the door to my mom's car, compacting the walkway, and then was walking circles around her car attempting to rub the ice off of the windshield with his hands, not wanting to use a tool that might scratch the windshield. I realized that I would have to immediately take over if this job was not going to continue to be made more and more difficult as he compacted more and more of the snow. Prying the shovel from him proved to be a very difficult task, as anyone familiar with the Iranian mannerism of Tarof would understand. When I did get the shovel and began working I confirmed my fears about the difficulty of shoveling the packed snow and likewise the ease of shoveling the unpacked snow. When my mom asked me to start her car and allow it to heat up I knew I had little time before the entire driveway would be marred by two lines of snow packed by the car's tires.
I'll break from this tale for a moment now.
Please enjoy the pregnant man.

One of my main concerns this year has been my health and weight. Taking a load of my fanny if you will. According to the digital scale at my mom's house I've lost 30 pounds this year, although according to the upright "doctor's office style" scale at the gym I've lost 50 pounds. While I would tend to consider a computer more fallible than the doctors office style, I don't trust the bastards at my gym as far as I can throw their 'roided up asses. I digress. I bring this up because I have found myself weighing myself often, often several times a day for no particular reason other than to see the crazy fluctuations in weight that happen throughout the day. So for some reason I had weighed myself just before heading out to shovel. And knowing I didn't have long before my mom rolled through the driveway and made my job much harder, I started shoveling like I was digging someone out of an avalanche.

I cleared the entire driveway in 10 minutes. It took me another 10 minutes just to clear the walkway which had been packed down by walking. When I came back inside dripping with sweat I weighed myself again. I had lost almost 3 pounds!
!!!!!BREAKING NEWS!!!!!
It's still snowing

Why?

While listening to a radio discussion about science and religion I found out that in the Tamil language there are 2 different words for "why?"
One references causation.
The other references purpose.

I love Dawkins' take on purpose. It's similar to his ideas on natural beauty. That is to say he is often hit with criticisms about atheism restricting his capacity for joy. If everything can be broken down and explained, then where is the joy in living? What he and I see as more accurate is that the very externalization of things like purpose and natural beauty to an Other is what threatens joy in life.
"Atheism is not a recipe for despair. I think the opposite. By disclaiming the idea of a next life, we can take more excitement in this one. The here and now is not something to be endured before eternal bliss or damnation. The here and now is all we have; an inspiration to make the most of it. So atheism is life-affirming, in a way religion can never be. Look around you. Nature demands our attention; begs us to explore; to question. Religion can provide only facile, ultimately unsatisfying answers. Science, in constantly seeking real explanations, reveals the true majesty of our world in all its complexity...We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die, because they are never going to be born. The number of people who could be here in my place outnumbers the sand grains of Sahara. If you think about all the different ways our genes could be permuted, you and I are quite grotesquely lucky to be here: the number of events that had to happen in order for you to exist, in order for me to exist. We are privileged to be alive and we should make the most of our time on this world."

Idlewild

So here it is.
2010 is coming.
The air smells ominous.
We blinked, got gassed up on hope and the next thing you know it’s the dawn of a new decade.
2010
Twenty-ten
The second half is half of the first half.
The 2nd ½ is ½ of the 1st ½.
In preparation for what is shaping up to be “the yea” (MA accent)
I’m taking some steps. Making some changes. Summing some summations.
One ever notable one is that as of today I am in possession of a computer with a fully functional keyboard. No more copying and pasting non-operational keys like my Ms, Ss, and periods from other portions of the screen or from the alphabet notepad file on my desktop. Also strange and unfamiliar to me is that the screen on this laptop stays up on its own, unlike the one I had been using for the last year. At first my old laptop’s screen would only stay upright if you found one of its two sweet spots. As of a couple months ago the screen would collapse back of forth unless it was propped in place, usually with a pen. While this new machine operates manifestly slower, having a functional keyboard is a necessary trade off for the time being. My hope and aspiration is that it lends itself to much more regular writing on my part and also accelerates my ability to find a new job.
I am also starting a new low calorie and low carbohydrate diet. It’s planned out by doctors (namely my “coach”, my aunt Farideh). The majority of my food intake will consists of 5 servings of pre-ordered food such as shakes, bars, and whathaveyous. In addition there is one other meal per day which should be “Lean and Green” and very calorie and carbohydrate restricted. Thus I will be essentially giving up the sauce so long as I am on this plan. This is another big change which will no doubt improve my life, I have ordered a months supply of the food and will begin most likely next Monday after I’ve picked up the package which is waiting at my mom’s house in Stamford.
I’ve coupled this diet with a new gym membership. Two great things about the Chelsea Recreation Center are its proximity to my place (3 blocks away) and the price ($75 for the whole year). The gym is very bare bones and will likely often be crowded, but I have a secret weapon to help me. I purchased an SD card and reader for my phone, along with headphones that fit the proprietary jack verizon has so kindly installed on it. With these tools I have made an mp3 player of my phone. Already I have found myself doing sit-ups, crunches, and push-ups in my room while wearing the earplugs.
While it may not be the theme for 2010, the theme for the time being is most certainly “grit”.
Chop wood.
Carry water.

The Thrilling Threats, Fears and Lies of the Midterm Election Primary

I've been working for Doug "Biv Against the Machine" Biviano, who is running for City Council in Brooklyn's 33rd district. Saturday morning I was headed to the office in Brooklyn to get ready for an 11 am press conference where Congressman Dennis Kucinich would be endorsing Doug's City Council run...A big deal for me and for a campaign fighting to build momentum in its last hours(As I write this I'm overcome by the thought that I should be trying to sleep instead as polls open in less than 8 hours!)
I left my apartment in Manhattan a bit later than I had hoped (I usually give myself an hour for the 20-40 minute sojourn). My (YELLOW) elevated level of fear of being late reached an (ORANGE) heightened level when I got to the train station and realized that the 2 and 3 express train which I desired was running local! OB VI OUSLY! Because its a de facto rule in nyc these days that the train schedules will be jived up in some way on the weekends. This is a point which has particularly bothered me since every job I've had in the city has included weekends...fnugh.
Just before the now local 2 train I was riding on reached 14th street the train came to an all stop in the middle of the tunnel. After a moment the conductor announced the standard response to being told to stop "Ladies and Gentlemen, we are being delayed due to train traffic ahead of us, please be patient, we will be moving shortly" which could and does apply to anything. No real cause for greater worry, until a few minutes passed and the conductor repeated his announcement. Then again a few minutes later. Finally, after about 15 or 20 minutes, the conductor gave us the bit more slender skinny that "We are being held because there is a stalled train at 14th Street, we will be moving as soon as it is cleared". While moans and groans were abound, there wasn't much panic because at least we've been given a slightly clearer picture of what is actually happening. The conductor repeated his announcement every few minutes, but there was still no cause for raising lateness fears to (RED) severe levels: until the conductor made an almost identical announcement with the addition of a well annunciated "INDEFINITELY" (picture some threatening bit of happening on the bridge of the Enterprise and Commander Riker shouting "shields up, red alert!). Just after I was able to get off a text warning that I would likely be late, the train starts to move.
We arrived at 14th street to a mad loading and unloading of passengers. Mildly relieved but still running late on a local train (lateness fear levels down to ORANGE) I began to do the only thing I could do to rectify my situation...attempt to will the train to become express with my mind. Just as I thought to myself that this wish was not even an entirely selfish one, as this train becoming express would likely alleviate some of what must be an immensely thrown off schedule after an almost half hour lag in train activity, the conductor announced "due to the delay reaching 14th street this train will be making express stops only". Being that I had just gotten what I needed and I had potentially willed the change myself, I let out a mildly inappropriatly loud Ric Flair like "WOO!".
Although the Lateness Fear Advisory System (L.F.A.S.) was down to YELLOW. The event that immediately followed would rocket the Holy Shit Advisory System (H.S.A.S.) level to a deep MAHOGANY.
Moments after my "WOO!", the man sitting directly across from me screamed "NOOOOO!", jolted up into the aisle between the subway doors, kicked one of the the doors shattering the glass, fiercely sat back down, pointed to me and screamed "FUCK YOU!". The other passengers and I tensely sat in silence, having all clearly "seen something" but collectively refusing to "say something", for what would prove to be a long slow ride from 14th street passed all the local stops to Chambers street where Osama Been-Ragin' deboarded.
I arrived at the office moments after the press conference ended, though at that point I didn't mind all that much, glad to have arrived at all.
------------------------------
One of the front runners in the City Council race is the teenage looking Stephen Levin. He is the most glaring example of what Doug Biviano calls the "Machine Candidates" in that he is the candidate (and chief of staff) of corrupt Democratic party boss Vito Lopez of the NY State Assembly. Despite Lopez's assembly district only overlapping the 33rd City Council district by a mere sliver, Lopez is intent on Levin taking the seat.
This is Levin's latest piece of campaign literature.

At the top it "quotes" the New York Times as saying "Stephen Levin is a 'Prime Candidate' for City Council". The problem with this assertion is that it directly misrepresents the actual quote from the New York Times which read "Stephen Levin WOULD BE a prime candidate for City Council EXCEPT for his entanglement in the Brooklyn Democratic machine". To quote Benjamin Disraeli, "What a fucknut". Levin sent out the mailing this weekend so that there wouldn't be enough time for rivals to notice and discredit him. The Daily News picked up our press release about it, but I fear the mailing has done its damage.
------------------------------
Now I'm off to sleep.
Tomorrow I'm going to be outside the polls at PS-8 in Brooklyn Heights from 10 am - 9pm, then back to the office for a (victory?) party.
Then I'm going with Celeste (who got me the job on the campaign to begin with) to see The Roots play their weekly Tuesday night show at the Highline Ballroom at midnight.
------------------------------
sleep

Frankie Goes to Williamsburg

SETTING: Out with some friends of mine on quite a night of bowling, dancing, and a'drinkin'.

PROLOGUE: We leave the bowling alley and head for a bar called Hugs. After some shenanigans we get on the dance floor in the rear part of the bar. The group of friends has been dancing in a little boogie circle on the edge of the dance floor.

ACT I:

Celeste: Is this a gay bar?

Norm: I don't think so.

Celeste: Are you sure?

Norm begins slowly turning his gaze around the room while still at half boogie. He notices that in fact, other than their party, the only people in the bar were gay couples. The realization washes over him in a long drawn out instant where the sight of each successive couple he sees as he pans blasts him in an almost comical '80s movie kind of way. Like it isn't happening to him, but rather Steve Guttenberg or John Stamos.

Norm: Absolutely not.

Norm goes to the bathroom where he notices

(I definitely need to tell you something.
You look like a tranny and not in a good way...)

END

Socialized Menacin'

Today I witnessed a new New York City breed of ambulance chaser. A man was waiting in his car behind an ambulance, stopped with sirens blaring, evidently waiting for it to leave so he could take the parking space it was in front of.
----------------------
The Polyphonic Spree's current tour is ENTIRELY FREE! They're going through Boston, NJ, Dallas and New York. I reserved my 2 free tickets online for their New York show. I saw them 2 years ago in brooklyn and it was one of the best live shows I've ever seen. I went with a girl, after the show she commented that i was "happier tonight than she's ever seen me before". I have been strongly recommending to everyone in the select cities to go see this wonderful and uplifting show.
----------------------
A true Moment of Zen

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Moment of Zen - Coulter Sells More Books
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Healthcare Protests

Or perhaps even a M.O.G.
----------------------
I purchased David Cross's new book I Drink For a Reason for a total of 86 cents after coupons and gift cards. I'm only about 10 pages in, but it's already the funniest example of the written word mine eyes have come across. I've already laughed out loud (Lol'ed) several times on the subway.
"Tossing a thing you don't want or no longer desire to the curb is not really that bad if it's biodegradable, which a baby is, I guess; but come on now-let's apply some standards"
----------------------
While waiting outside of a store the other day a dragonfly landed on my friend Lindsey. It stayed right there for quite a while and actually looked intentional. It gave me an idea for a new animal rights campaign:

Pity POP

There's this Blackberry commercial that features U2 performing some song that quite unfortunatley is seared into my brain due to it's incessant repetition on TV and even the internet. It starts out "every generation has a chance to change the world..." and finishes with "...I'm gonna go crazy if I don't go crazy tonight".
This begs a few questions:
1)Have I gone crazy?
2)Why havn't I blown up the world yet?
3)Exactly what do Blackberries have to do with saving the world?
4)How many Bonos does it take to screw in a light bulb (1 to hold it, and the world to revolve around him)
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooooooooooooooo!
--------------------
How can a movie as bad as The Postman have something as brilliant as that cameo by Tom Petty as himself?
--------------------

The best named store in America. Norwalk, CT's own Bob's Unpainted Furniture Gun Exchange
--------------------
In a nod to the era of Autotune, Merriam-Webster has officially changed the word "Shorty" to the three word phrase "Sho-Ta-Ie"
--------------------
Speaking of sho-ta-ie. I saw this kid Justin Bieber performing at the annual Arthur Ashe kids day event the day before the US Open. He's evidently "Usher's protege", a 12 year old white boy who repeatedly says sho-ta-ie in his song. Every time he said it I thought he should be lynched.
--------------------
Some Brooklyn based band names: Shoe Lace, Water Balloon, Salad Tong, Birthday Card, Pearl Cream, Damp Cloth, Rubber Stamp, Ugly Tire, Happy Teeth, Desktop Fear, Morose Germans, Paper Clip and Cleanup in Ilse Thrive
--------------------
Just saw a Daily News headline "Jon Gosselin's girlfriend 'Hailey Glassman' is looking for a new man on Match.com".....sorry everyone, we've gone too far, get your affairs in order, I have to blow up the world now.
--------------------

The Grabbing Hands

Every few days I get a little extra disgusted by the way that the current "debate" in American politics over healthcare has been turning out. The Democrats have super majorities in the House and Senate, and have an incredibly popular and publicly persuasive president (unintentional alliteration of the year award?). And yet they're still unable to even stand some sort of ground on getting every American health care, or even at least a cheaper public option. The lobbying thats going on over this healthcare bill is mind blowing. Literally hundreds of healthcare industry lobbyists are in Washington EVERYDAY trying to insure that we don't make the leap that every other western democracy in the world has to making the healthcare of our citizens a moral and civil obligation of the government.
Where would our country be today if in the time of so many historical pieces of legislation in our past there was the type of influence of money and power from groups whose interests so strongly oppose the public interest? I'm certain black and women's rights would have come along much slower. I doubt very much that we would have social security or medicare.

Socialized medicine will kill us all, your money belongs in your pocket, not helping to keep some old hag away from Sarah Palin's Death Panel
But by all means use my money to fund the NFL and Major League Baseball (and use our money/waste Congress' time investigating weather they used performance enhancing drugs)
You don't want a bureaucrat between you and your doctor, someone from your insurance company or HMO is good enough.
Oh enough with my multiple sargasms....take it away Gipper...

"between you and me....I hate politics" -Dan Bern

Can I Fly?

I have a 2 year old nephew named Arian who comes up from Dallas to visit my mom fairly often with his grandmother, my aunt Ziba. A few weeks ago I decided to show Arian a fun time and I picked him up and carried him "flying" around the house and yard. I immediately realized the monster I had created when I put him down. He had no sooner hit the ground than he was jumping back up, arms outstretched, pleading with me "can I fly?" "can I fly?". Knowing Arian's language as I do, I understood that he was not asking if he really could fly, but rather was asking me to help him fly once more. So being one who is always inclined to bring joy to those who seek it, I picked him up again and flew him around some more. This time when I put him down I found that picking up a 2 year old and running around the house and up and down stairs can be quite tiring for my out of shape self. While I was inclined to rest at least for a little while, Arian's response was simply "can I fly?" "can I fly Normyyy?". I never found a way to properly distract him post flight so as to not leave him always wanting more. What I have found though is an instructive opportunity, a teachable moment if you will in these requests. Arian is at the age where gifts are lavished upon him, especially while he is here in the northeast visiting family. The other evening he returned home from my aunt's house with a little pink stuffed dog that my aunt had given him. The dog had a shirt with a peace symbol on it. I took this opportunity to attempt to teach Arian what the symbol was and what "peace" meant. Furthermore I taught him what the two fingered peace sign is and tried to show him how to do it. It was of course not easy (picture the average person attempting the vulcan "live long and prosper" salute). I decided that night that it would be my mission to teach Arian this hand gesture and pictured him taking it back to Texas with him and helping to save the world. My ingenious plan is this: every time Arian exclaims "can I fly?" I respond with "show me the peace sign" and I retrain him to flash the symbol and say "PEEEETH!". Progress is slow, but I give it another 24 hours before he's a regular Cindy Sheehan at the rate he goes. I believe, that he believes, that he can touch the sky!

We Will Get What We Want

We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want We Will Get What We Want

Globo Warning?

The Reverend Billy is running for mayor of New York City and has my official endorsement (I'm also giving him a "thumbs up" at this very moment but it doesn't come through as well in text).
VoteRevBilly.org

VoteRevBilly.org
Spent a bit of time today with a lot of the folks from The Company that I haven't seen since I left. Various levels of alienation from them, some just "acted like they don't know"; forgetting perhaps that I have always advocated a firm "act like ya know" policy
'Round this time last week a wave was carrying my body and crashing it down upon and elderly swimming suit clad lady. Quite an interesting metaphor.
"Metaphors are not to be trifled with. A single metaphor can give birth to love"
Love has been gnawing at me like I was seared in garlic for quite a bit now. Such a fascinating game it is to play, just when the dark clouds seem to part, they reveal the mountains.
elpoep tsom naht retteb sgniht tsom
Of the many whatnotppenstances that living in New York City has helped me to understypher, one of my favorites has to be the following situation; when a brief interaction you have with a stranger is so real, that the person is compelled to say goodbye when it's over.

'Round this time last week I was skinnydipping in the ocean off Montauk under a beautiful star-filled night's sky. My friend Tim noticed that there were glowing blue dots in the water around us that seemed more than just reflections of the many stars. We soon realized that we were swimming amongst tiny bioluminescent life forms that glowed blue when disturbed. My experience of existence was so dense at that moment; nude in the water, the strength and fury of the waves bouncing and tossing my body, and the microscopic beings that let their existence be known to the world because of my presence. Glowing there in the water I remembered how life is for the living.
Without me you are nothing.

[spam] Interesting and painful Message

WHY AM I SO FASCINATED BY THESE SPAM SCAMS???!!!?!?!?!!!
In light of my last post I thought I should also share this lovely spam scam I received as well, as it has some great examples of the aforementioned hilarious translation related misspellings, eg. "my cry and prayers has rise smokely to God".
If anyone is at all as interested in these scams as I am then I strongly recommend listening to this episode of This American Life featuring a group of scam-baiters who did some remarkable things to these scammers
______________________________________________________


Interesting and painful Message

May the maker of heaven and earth grant you the willing spirit to digest this important request of mine though you might find it difficult to believe me but it is only God that will speak to you as my cry and prayers has rise smokely to God to assist me in sourcing for a good reputable person to assist me in this ailing situation.

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you.
I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere proposition.

I am Samanta Tanoh by name 19yrs of age and the daughter and only child of the late Dr. Brendan Tanoh a very wealthy cocoa merchant and competent business man here in Abidjan, the economic capital of Cote D'Ivoire formally known as Ivory coast.

My father was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outings on a business trip.
My lovely mother died when I was still 2yrs and since then my father took me so special as his survival dependent.

Before the death of my father in August 2006 in a private hospital herein Abidjan he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of (Eleven Million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars)USD$11.500,000 deposited in one of the famous Banks here in Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire, that he used my name as his only child for the next of Kin in depositing the funds.
He also explained to me that it was because of this funds that he was poisoned by his business associates.
That I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money and use it for investment purposes, such as real estate management or hotel management.

I am humbly seeking for your assistance in the following ways: (i)To contact the Bank and request for the release of the funds to you as my late parents family friend abroad.
(ii)To serve as a guardian of this fund since I am only 19 yrs old.
(iii)To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my education and to secure a resident permit in your country.

Moreover, I am willing to offer you 20% of the total sum as compensation
for your effort/input after the successful transfer of this funds to you
in your country.

Furthermore, you indicate your options towards assisting me as I believe
that this transaction would be concluded within fourteen (14) days you
should signify your interest to assist me.. Anticipating to hear from you soon.
Due to my present condition and the confidentiality of this matter
please reply to me immediately.
Thanks and God bless.
Best regards,
Miss. Samantha Tanoh

[spam] ExxonMobil Promotions ATTN: WINNER

What I love about this little bit of spam scam is that it supposedly comes from ExxonMobil and among the personal information they ask for are my "remarks about ExxonMobil", maybe this is a way to bait left wingers into responding.
Also, it is devoid of the usual hilarious translation related misspellings....until they refer to me as one of their "luckly winners" and sign off as an "Online Co-ordinator"
________________________________________________________

Menara ExxonMobil
Kuala Lumpur City Center
50088 Kuala Lumpur
Malaysia
PHONE: +60.103.732.2721

This is to inform you that ExxonMobil Oil Company, Malaysia has awarded you
the sum of $1,000,000 USD. This email is randomly sent to 10 people
worldwide. Your verification number is: (EM2009-10/6) Please
Understand that this promotion is Neither a Lottery nor a Gambling
Winning. To file claims, please contact the claims processing officer
on the email or phone number provided below:

CLAIMS PROCESSING OFFICER:
Mr. Adil Fatin
EMAIL: exxonmobilpromo1@yahoo.com.hk
Phone: +60.103.732.2721

You are also advised to provide him with:

NAME IN FULL:
CONTACT ADDRESS:
AGE:
NATIONALITY:
OCCUPATION:
PHONE:
FAX:
MOBILE:
SEX (M/F):
ANNUAL INCOME:
REMARKS ABOUT EXXON MOBIL:

We are glad to have you as one of our luckly winners.

Yours Sincerely,
Online Co-ordinator..

doing my part

I was on a train from NYC to Stamford yesterday and there were a bunch of businessmen talking across rows and aisles. They were engaged in a boisterous conversation about Dancing With the Stars. They kept talking about this person and that person and every few minutes they would either comment on how gay one of the contestants are or make a gay joke about one another. I was sitting about 3 rows ahead of them and after about 20 minutes I yelled out "You guys sure do toss the word gay around an awful lot for a bunch of grown men discussing Dancing With the Stars". There was laughter.